TOEFL iBTのライティング90,100を目指す方向けの解答例 ~スコア104の講師が全文アップ~

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英語講師 / TOEIC975・英検1級・CAE・TOEFL iBT 104・TESOL / 青学 英米文学科⇨立教 異コミュ研究科 / 英語教育学専攻 / 語彙習得を研究中


今回はTOEFL iBT104点の私が、高得点を取るための回答モデル執筆しました。

改めてintegrated writingについても発信しますが、今回はindependent writingです。

テーマ Should the death penalty be abolished?


英語講師Taigaの回答 ↓

While some people argue that the death penalty is a necessary evil, in fact,  it should be abandoned for the following three reasons: it violates the right to life that every person including criminals has, there is always a risk of false charges, and there is no robust proof that shows the death penalty is an effective deterrent to crimes.

To begin with, it infringes on everyone’s right to life, including criminals. from an ethical standpoint, taking a human life is wrong, even if it is for the sake of justice. Therefore, just because we are criminals does not give us the right to kill others. In the first place, who should live and who should be killed is a matter that transcends the rights of human beings, and it has to be determined by God alone. Consequently, the death penalty is against the law of nature and should be abolished immediately.

In addition, it is almost impossible to completely prevent false charges. In the worst case, the innocence of the accused is revealed after the death penalty has been carried out. For instance, Iizuka Incident that happened in Japan resulted in the execution of a defendant who had been pleading not guilty. Although it is a rare case, the possibility of making such a mistake should be completely eradicated, and therefore society without the death penalty should be created.

Finally, there is no solid evidence that the presence of the death sentence is an effective crime deterrent. People who support capital punishment might claim that it prevents future crimes because potential criminals are afraid of dying. However, some serial killers are not interested in whether or not they will be sentenced to be dead because they just enjoy murder itself. In fact, there is no data that shows the causal relationship between the death penalty and crime rates. Therefore, there is no good reason that supports the sentence that kills people.

In conclusion, it is obvious that we should abolish the death penalty as soon as possible because it is ethically wrong, it might kill innocent people due to false charges, and it might lack the power to prevent crimes that could occur in the future.